Big Boys [alternate version] Elvis Costello

I am starting to function
In the usual way
Everything is so provocative
Very, very temporary
I shall walk
Out of this place
I shall walk out on you
'Cause you go silly if she's willing
Trying so hard to be like the big boys

So you take her to the pictures
Trying to become a fixture
Inch by inch, trying to reach her
All the way through the second feature
Worrying about your physical fitness
Tell me how you got this sickness
Oh oh-oh-oh

I was caught in the suction
By a face like a truncheon
I was down upon one knee
Stroking her vanity
I was stuck on a hammer head
I-I-I-I came alive and left for dead
As my facе returned to red
Choking on my pridе and pity