Mr. Popeil "Weird Al" Yankovic

I need a Veg-o-Matic!
I need a Pocket Fisherman!
I need a handy appliance
That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell!
(Operators are standing by, how does that make you feel?)
Help me
Mr. Popeil!

I wanna shine some pennies!
I wanna mend some leather!
I wanna Krazy Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder!
(Please, no C.O.D.'s, don't miss out on this deal)
Ah, help me
Mr. Popeil!

Help me
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
(Woo, woo, ohh)

It slices, it dices
Look at that tomato!
You could even cut a tin can with it
But you wouldn't want to!
Mr. Popeil, I'm in trouble
Need your assistance on the double
Oh no! Now how am I gonna make
My old vinyl car top look like new?
(Mr. Popeil)
Tell me, what am I s'posed to do?
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!