You can’t be depressed Neil Hilborn

Aaron Rodgers is on the field in Green Bay tonight and he is terrible.

He's thirteen for forty with two interceptions and no touchdowns for a QB rating of negative a billion

Which is like if I showed up on stage and did my entire set facing the wall and eating mayonnaise out of a jar

Aaron Rodgers, probably the best quarterback to ever play the game, has those bags under his eyes that tell me he’s been eating a lot of cold Mac-&-Cheese in bed with the lights off

Aaron Rodgers looks how I really feel when I say "I'm doing great!"

Aaron Rodgers makes twenty-two million a year and yet he still looks like his dog bit him after calling him a selfish person

Aaron looks like he last slept in two thousand eleven maybe

and he's playing like he’s thinking about how he needs to wash his sheets

He's playing like how he hasn't washed his sheets in five or six months

He's playing like he'd wash his goddamned sheets if he could just stop goddamned crying for one goddamned minute

but, maybe I'm reading too much into this

I find myself saying, out loud,

"How is he depressed?