Romance is Boring Wilbur Soot

[Verse 1]
Darling, I'm with St. Bernards
And we are scouring the Alps and the Andes
And if they die then it is on my head
They follow paw prints in the snow to my throne, to my bed

[Chorus]
You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking yawning
We're proving to each other romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do if I was half prepared to
Prove to each other that romance is boring

[Verse 2]
Start as I mean to continue
Complacent and self-involved
You're trying not to be nervous
Wish you were trying at all
I will wake, I will bake, I will bake phallic cake
Take your diffidence, make it my clubhouse
But my strength's within lies, ventricle cauterised
It's the way of living that I espouse

[Chorus]
You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking still yawning
We're proving to each other that romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do if I was half prepared to
To each other that romance is boring