[Verse 1]
Ever since I got divorced
Everything's been going right on course
I've been riding a horse
Doing a little horse is fun in shorts
Relaxing, texting, sleeping
Refilling glasses of Riesling
What a great way to spend an evening
I look so good I'm beaming
Ever since I lost my job
I started a blog
It's been going so great
It's about the ins and outs of the perfect date
Film tickets and ratings
To kiss in the first minute or waiting
"Just get it over with"
That blog post got viewed the most
Ever since I got a nose job
I've had a more appealing snoz
It's not so big and bulky
It's small and cute like Coqui
Those little 22-ounce bottles
I feel right at home after a swallow
My collars aren't stretched out
And more focus on my mouth
Ever since I got divorced
Everything's been going right on course
I've been riding a horse
Doing a little horse is fun in shorts
Relaxing, texting, sleeping
Refilling glasses of Riesling
What a great way to spend an evening
I look so good I'm beaming
Ever since I lost my job
I started a blog
It's been going so great
It's about the ins and outs of the perfect date
Film tickets and ratings
To kiss in the first minute or waiting
"Just get it over with"
That blog post got viewed the most
Ever since I got a nose job
I've had a more appealing snoz
It's not so big and bulky
It's small and cute like Coqui
Those little 22-ounce bottles
I feel right at home after a swallow
My collars aren't stretched out
And more focus on my mouth
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