[Intro]
*howl*
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
COUNT DRACULA!
VERSUS!
VLAD THE IMPALER!
BEGIN!
[Vlad the Impaler]
Imagine forests of corpses dripping on a buffet
You call that a nightmare? I call that a Tuesday
Vlad Dracula, spawn of the devil
Dipping my bread in your weeping blood vessels
Scorched the earth from Hungary to Wallachia
I inspire fear, you inspire Count Chocula
Stepped to the Turks and the bodies started dropping
Put my foot on Ottomans like I was furniture shopping
I save my stakes, no need crucifix
I kill you with Olive Garden garlic breadsticks
I butcher men, women, and children like cows
Put more meat on swords than Fogo de Chão
[Count Dracula]
Does this mic still work after that blah, blah, blah?
Check one... two... ah, ah, ah!
The flex of a rear-spearing princeling can’t vex me
‘Cause I nibble necks and I make it look sexy
I’m Universally known for intrigue and desire
I shapeshift into mist and bone Winona Ryder
Slick hair, popped collar, and a damn nice cape
While you’ve got less taste than an Anne Rice cake
Your rhymes are empty, like I leave vascular systems
I’d grant you the privilege of being Dracula’s victim
But the thought of biting you makes me get nauseous
You don’t look like the type that's keen on neck washes
*howl*
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
COUNT DRACULA!
VERSUS!
VLAD THE IMPALER!
BEGIN!
[Vlad the Impaler]
Imagine forests of corpses dripping on a buffet
You call that a nightmare? I call that a Tuesday
Vlad Dracula, spawn of the devil
Dipping my bread in your weeping blood vessels
Scorched the earth from Hungary to Wallachia
I inspire fear, you inspire Count Chocula
Stepped to the Turks and the bodies started dropping
Put my foot on Ottomans like I was furniture shopping
I save my stakes, no need crucifix
I kill you with Olive Garden garlic breadsticks
I butcher men, women, and children like cows
Put more meat on swords than Fogo de Chão
[Count Dracula]
Does this mic still work after that blah, blah, blah?
Check one... two... ah, ah, ah!
The flex of a rear-spearing princeling can’t vex me
‘Cause I nibble necks and I make it look sexy
I’m Universally known for intrigue and desire
I shapeshift into mist and bone Winona Ryder
Slick hair, popped collar, and a damn nice cape
While you’ve got less taste than an Anne Rice cake
Your rhymes are empty, like I leave vascular systems
I’d grant you the privilege of being Dracula’s victim
But the thought of biting you makes me get nauseous
You don’t look like the type that's keen on neck washes
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