I’m No Russian Jimmy Buffett

[Verse 1]
I’m no Russian, not even Prussian
Doorman at the yacht club was my one claim to fame
Some say I’m nervy, hell, I’m from Jersey
This chasin’ money can do things to your brain

[Pre-Chorus 1]
How does a shore boy like me
Wind up out on the Black Sea?

[Verse 2]
Dropped out of Harvard, then joined the Coast Guard
Manned a faithful fifty on a boat in Gitmo
Did my duty, but missed the booty
I heard that St. Barth was the place I should go

[Pre-Chorus 2]
How could a coastie like me
Sail off into infamy?

[Chorus 1]
I couldn’t surf or sing or play the guitar
All I ever did was steal an oligarch’s car
My million dollar joy ride was not the perfect crime
Those bad boys from Little Odessa don’t believe in wasting time
A Lamborghini Elemento ain’t your average island car
“Park it close” the driver told me, sounding like some kind of czar
With a bucket of Cristal and devil weed inside
I thought it would be crazy not to take a ride
Flying through Gustavia, passing Mini Mokes
Gendarmes at the roundabout didn’t get the joke
Speeding down the hill like a Dassault Mirage
Parked it on the runway and headed for la plague