Herbert Madness

She was further than her father
But I was really rather
Partial to the way...
To the way she took her stand
She glanced over his shoulder
Urging me to be bolder
I subtly tried to push past her old man

But he stepped sideways firmly
A prop forward from Burnley
I felt like I'd walked into a brick wall
He menacingly whispered: "Sonny Jim
I know exactly where you've been
Stop now or believe me - you will fall"

She was a preacher's daughter
A rugby playing porter
Who'd become a wealthy hotelier
Before he got the calling
That fuels his stonewalling
Now he wants to put me my derriere

Oh yeah, the wages of sin
There's a big fat bloke trying to do me in
Well I can't hide and I can't run
He's chasing me around with an old shotgun