No Wonder Sharon Took the Kids and Left My Ass Again Waylon Napadogan

[Chorus]
I came home blackout drunk and tried to make a pizza
Passed out and set the house on fire again instead
No wonder Sharon took the kids and left my ass again

[Verse 1]
I made a half a million dollars on a scratch and win
But I blew it all gamblin' on Korean woman's badminton
No wonder Sharon took the kids and left my ass again

[Verse 2]
I started findin' bushels of Peruvian weed
Up from Guatemala City into Calgary
I got caught up in customs with a border guard
I tried to bribe him with an expired Tim Horton's gift card
He did not accept and I got tossed in the pen
No wonder Sharon took the kids and left my ass again

[Verse 3]
So Sharon if you're listenin'
Please come back home my lovе
I've been sittin' here covеred in Dorito dust
Watchin' "Dog The Bounty Hunter" reruns
And I really need you
Can't remember how to use the TV remote controls
Why do have so many
I understand needin' one, but three remote controls
For one TV that just seems like too many remote controls