Courtlife Horrible Histories (Ft. Simon Farnaby)

Oi!
Here's the thing, I'm the King! I have ministers and minions, millions - well a few. So let me tell you about my
(Courtlife)
Most days I'm awake by 5 a.m. - I love clocks! I'm a dull man who loves dull food - boiled eggs, toast, plate
(Fork, knife)
Then it's off to prayers - I love praying! Like clocks too, but not as much as I like God and believe in the
(Next life)
Happy to spend hours in ice-cold churches, not sold on all this court drama. Frankly, calmer as a dairy farmer

All the courtiers
Nobles' sons and daughters
We all bow hand in hand
Bending backs in my Courtlife

Did I tell you I like clocks? I don't like loud knocks on the door, it enrages my sense of enormous wellbeing
(Quiet life)
I don't ask much of my pages, just no coughing, spitting, sneezing, or moving
(Still life)
Oh, and don't come between me and the door, else you're stuck here until me or the Queen decides to leave
(Poor wife)
And when you enter the room, walk slowly backwards towards the wall. Whoops - careful now!

All the courtiers
Nobles' sons and daughters
We all bow and offer our hands
Think most of them can't stand Courtlife