[Verse 1: Action Bronson]
You could tell she was a mediocre lover
From the way that she was dancing at the wedding, uh
I pull up in a Benz from '84 with Lady Saw
Bodybuilder bitch opened my door
Hundred dollar bill folded in a square, place it in her hand
(now I'm good forever with her)
Thick ass thighs
Naked knife fights in the bath house in Turkey (uh)
Dipped the razor blade in herpes
Glad I escaped that shit man, that was a close call
Tried to cut my nutsack open
I got a Japanese attorney from China with a vagina
(a big one)
Every single thing she eats her meals right out the diner
(like a old lady)
Two poached eggs, whole wheat toast dry
A Lipitor and lemonwater
She got the high cholesterol man
But she's good in court
(Lipitor and lemonwater cocktails)
She knows exactly what to do
She's good friends with the judge
Diego, bring the Jeep around please
Uh, hopped off the Harley (like I'm Steven Seagal)
Bike's still going (uh)
She likes girls but that dyke's still blowing (still blowing)
I'm in a penthouse doing yoga moves
(Like I'm a lightskin motherfucker man)
Wolfgang Puck, prep the duck while I fuck (fuck)
Six Brazilian women in a white Suburban truck (truck)
I ball so much I got the And-1 tattoo
(Shit man I could've played for the Spurs)
You could tell she was a mediocre lover
From the way that she was dancing at the wedding, uh
I pull up in a Benz from '84 with Lady Saw
Bodybuilder bitch opened my door
Hundred dollar bill folded in a square, place it in her hand
(now I'm good forever with her)
Thick ass thighs
Naked knife fights in the bath house in Turkey (uh)
Dipped the razor blade in herpes
Glad I escaped that shit man, that was a close call
Tried to cut my nutsack open
I got a Japanese attorney from China with a vagina
(a big one)
Every single thing she eats her meals right out the diner
(like a old lady)
Two poached eggs, whole wheat toast dry
A Lipitor and lemonwater
She got the high cholesterol man
But she's good in court
(Lipitor and lemonwater cocktails)
She knows exactly what to do
She's good friends with the judge
Diego, bring the Jeep around please
Uh, hopped off the Harley (like I'm Steven Seagal)
Bike's still going (uh)
She likes girls but that dyke's still blowing (still blowing)
I'm in a penthouse doing yoga moves
(Like I'm a lightskin motherfucker man)
Wolfgang Puck, prep the duck while I fuck (fuck)
Six Brazilian women in a white Suburban truck (truck)
I ball so much I got the And-1 tattoo
(Shit man I could've played for the Spurs)
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