Assman Bowling for Soup

I tried to break into your house on Friday night
I got attacked by your big dog
I tried to play my guitar at your window side
Your mother said it was her room

I didn't know it!

I left my phone off of the hook one Friday night
You got pissed off and called my friend
I tried all week to figure why we had a fight
What did I say that wasn't right

I didn't know it!

Why don't you be my one and only friend
Why don't you be my sidekick
You be Robin and I'll try to be Batman
You be Paul to my Letterman
(you're Yoko Ono I'm John Lennon)
(you be Marie I'm Donnie Osmond)
(you're Emmitt Smith and I'm Troy Aikman)

I waited for you once to pick me up from work
You never showed and I was stuck
I left a message with your dad that I came by
He said you had another guy