I Don’t Drink Tom MacDonald

[Verse 1]
I screwed up, I just wanna say I'm sorry
It's all my fault, you should probably ignore me
Oh my God, should've given you a warning
All my friends are sick and tired of this story (Woo!)
I don't drink 'cause when I'm drunk, I'm annoying (Yeah, yuh)
Call your phone when it's three in the morning (Yeah)
Start a fight, parked a whip in your garden (Ayy)
Prolly think I am mentally retarded (Yeah, hi)
Please, don't call me crazy 'cause I'm not (Woo, because I'm not)
Last night, I had one too many shots (Too many shots)
Blacked out, got arrested by the cops (Woo)
Woke up on the neighbors front lawn

[Pre-Chorus]
Every time that I'm hangover, I convince myself I'm dying
Where the hell'd my pants go and why is my girlfriend crying?
I say that I remember what I did, but I am lying
There's a tattoo on my buttcheek, it's a beer can and he's smiling

[Chorus]
I'm pretty sure the last night went down in history
We made it out alive, and that's a victory
Black eyes, minor injuries
We lost a fight together, that's a win to me
I don't drink 'cause when I'm drunk, I'm retarded
Ask around, I'm the life of the party
Hold my beer 'cause I'm only getting started
Who cares about tomorrow and the misery?