Harsh Times in Umberstone Covert Half Man Half Biscuit

Geraldine, Geraldine
It's just a selling plate
Nobody cares
Don’t be so self-conscious
What became of the carefree you?
The one who would whistle to
Throbbing Gristle through
Harsh times in Umberstone Covert
Scoffing at the notion
Of a shoulder to cry on
The very thought
Of a rock to rely on
Astonishing, therefore
To look at you now
Bitter as the gall
Reaching for the mainland

I will mend you
And I will tend to you
Take it as read
With a needle and thread
When you're falling apart at the seams
I will make that stitch in time

C-c-cavalcades, accolades
Giddy escapades
Do you recall?
Cheap mischief most Tuesdays
Emma Ollerhead avoids you still
Sour-faced she picked out the gherkins
Saw Christ in Dorothy Perkins
Oh Geraldine, we were so laissez-faire
Every other day was a non-sequitur
Hadron Collider, who's there?
Knock, knock