Brand New Dance Loudon Wainwright III

There's a new dance craze sweepin' the land
First you get out of bed, then you attempt to stand
You get out of bed, you get to your feet
You got to just stand there, you can't retreat
Now here comes the hard part, it's bad news
You got to bend over and put on your shoes

Over in the bed lies your sleepin' wife
Snorin' like a sailor, she's the love of your life
But that women is a martyr and you know it's true
Who the hell else would put up with you?
You got a brand new dance and it goes like this
You wake up in the mornin' and look in to the abyss

Take a look
Take another look, come on!

It's a fight to the finish
It's a flackin' and a fray
Got a brand new song and I sing it everyday
I got a new smell and it's called "The Old Man"
A new taste sensation, I'd say it was bland
But that senior discount, that's my kind of treat
But when I get on the bus, you got to give me a seat

Come on, baby