Mid-Life Crisis Phineas and Ferb

[Spoken intro: Dr. Doofenshmirtz]
Allow me to explain in song!

[Verse 1: Dr. Doofenshmirtz]
All my friends have spray-on tans, and they're gettin' back together with their old rock bands
Guess their bland old lives are now filled with spices, they're havin' a mid-life crisis!
They're all gettin' sports cars and new toupees
And borrowing against their IRAs
I've always had more than my share of vices
But I never had a mid-life crisis

I'm sick and tired of bein' out of the game
Everyone's so discontent, I wish I felt the same
It's not like my life has been a total delight, but
Something must be wrong, 'cause I feel... alright!

Kazoo solo!

[Instrumental kazoo solo]

But now with my inator, I can be the same
My crisis will put all other crises to shame
But I'm tellin' ya now, that it's gonna be twice as
Good as any
Big gut suckin', sports car buyin'
Self-deludin', comb-over tryin'
Skinny jean-wearin', wrinkle denyin'
Bucket listin', grey hair dyin'
Existential mid-life crisis!