I Can’t Do the Sum Victor Herbert

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(Verse 1)
If a steamship weighed 10,000 tons and sailed 5,000 miles
With a cargo large of overshoes and carving knives and files
If the mates were almost six feet high and the bos'n near the same
Would you subtract or multiply to find the captain's name?
Oh, oh, oh!

(Chorus)
Put down six and carry two
Gee, but this is hard to do
You can think and think and think till your brains are numb
I don't care what teacher says, I can't do the sum

(Verse 2)
If Clarence took fair Gwendoline out for an auto ride
And if at 60 miles an hour one kiss to capture tried
And quite forgot the steering gear on her honeyed lips to sup
How soon could 20 men with brooms sweep Clare and Gwennie up?
Oh, oh, oh!

(Chorus)
Put down six and carry two
Gee, but this is hard to do
You can think and think and think till your brains are numb
I don't care what teacher says, I can't do the sum