You might have heard this before, I know I have
This song is called Alice's Restaurant, it's about Alice and the restaurant
But Alice's Restaurant was never the name of a restaurant that was always just a name of this song, and I guess that
Well, that's probably why I still call this song Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back, just a half a mile from the railroad track
An' you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
I wasn't gonna sing the song tonight or this decade
But I realized sometime earlier this year that it had been 26 years since this come out of the movie
And, and it was two years before that, two years ago on the record which means it was like thirty Thanksgivings ago
Thirty years ago on Thanksgiving when my friend and I decided to go up and visit Alice at the restaurant, but Alice didn't used to live in a restaurant she used to live in the church nearby the restaurant in the bell tower with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog. And living in the bell tower like that they used to have a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be, seen as how that took out all of the pews and having all that room they decided that they didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time. We got up there found the place was filled with garbage and we decided it'd be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the town dump
So we took the half a ton of garbage put it in the back of a red VW Microbus took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the town dump. We got there, there was a sign a chain across the road, and the sign set "closed on Thanksgiving". We had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before and so with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage. We didn't find one, till we come to a side road and off of the side of the side road there was a 15-foot cliff and at the bottom of the cliff there was another pile of garbage. We decided that one big pile be better than two little ones and rather than bring that one up we decided to throw ours down that's what we did. Drove back to the church had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning when we got a phone call from officer Obie
He said: "kid, we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage. Just wanted to know if you had any information about it." I said: "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie. I put that envelope under that garbage." Was after speaking to Obie for about 45 minutes on the telephone that we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and Obie said we had to go down and pick up the garbage and we also had to go down and talk to him at the police officer station
Now, friends, there was only one of two things that Obie could have done at the police officer station. The first thing was he could have give us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone. Which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it. You know the possibility was that he could have bought us out he told us never to be seen driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer station there was a third possibility that we hadn't counted on. And we was both immediately arrested, handcuffed, and I said "Obie, I don't think I can pick up the garbage with the handcuffs on." He said: "Shut up, Kid. Get in the back of the patrol car."
And we sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the quote, "Scene of the crime", unquote. Friends, a wanna tell you about the town of Stockbridge, Massachusetts where this was happening, they got three stop signs, two police officers, in one police car, but when we got to the scene of the crime there was five police officers and three police cars being the biggest crime of the last 50 years and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it and he was using up all kinds of cop equipment they had hanging around the police officer station they was taken blaster tire track footprints dog-smelling prints they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and paragraph on the back of each one's explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us the two pictures of the approach the getaway. the northwest corner, the southwest corner and that's not to mention the aerial photography
And it was after the ordeal we went back to the jail Obie said he was gonna put us in and he said "Kid, I'm gonna put you in the cell. Give me your wallet and your belt." and I said: "Obie, I can understand you wanting my wallet, so I don't have any money to spend in the cell. What do you want the belt for?" he said "Kid, we don't want any hangings", and I said "Obie, did you think I was gonna hang myself for littering?" Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was cuz he took out the toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll the toilet paper out the window slide down the roll
Escape and get away, Obie was making sure all right
It was about four or five hours later that Alice remember Alice she stills a song about Alice anyway analysts combine with a few nasty words to all be on the side she bailed us out of jail we went back to the church had another Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning when we all had to go to court
This song is called Alice's Restaurant, it's about Alice and the restaurant
But Alice's Restaurant was never the name of a restaurant that was always just a name of this song, and I guess that
Well, that's probably why I still call this song Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back, just a half a mile from the railroad track
An' you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
I wasn't gonna sing the song tonight or this decade
But I realized sometime earlier this year that it had been 26 years since this come out of the movie
And, and it was two years before that, two years ago on the record which means it was like thirty Thanksgivings ago
Thirty years ago on Thanksgiving when my friend and I decided to go up and visit Alice at the restaurant, but Alice didn't used to live in a restaurant she used to live in the church nearby the restaurant in the bell tower with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog. And living in the bell tower like that they used to have a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be, seen as how that took out all of the pews and having all that room they decided that they didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time. We got up there found the place was filled with garbage and we decided it'd be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the town dump
So we took the half a ton of garbage put it in the back of a red VW Microbus took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the town dump. We got there, there was a sign a chain across the road, and the sign set "closed on Thanksgiving". We had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before and so with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage. We didn't find one, till we come to a side road and off of the side of the side road there was a 15-foot cliff and at the bottom of the cliff there was another pile of garbage. We decided that one big pile be better than two little ones and rather than bring that one up we decided to throw ours down that's what we did. Drove back to the church had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning when we got a phone call from officer Obie
He said: "kid, we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage. Just wanted to know if you had any information about it." I said: "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie. I put that envelope under that garbage." Was after speaking to Obie for about 45 minutes on the telephone that we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and Obie said we had to go down and pick up the garbage and we also had to go down and talk to him at the police officer station
Now, friends, there was only one of two things that Obie could have done at the police officer station. The first thing was he could have give us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone. Which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it. You know the possibility was that he could have bought us out he told us never to be seen driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer station there was a third possibility that we hadn't counted on. And we was both immediately arrested, handcuffed, and I said "Obie, I don't think I can pick up the garbage with the handcuffs on." He said: "Shut up, Kid. Get in the back of the patrol car."
And we sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the quote, "Scene of the crime", unquote. Friends, a wanna tell you about the town of Stockbridge, Massachusetts where this was happening, they got three stop signs, two police officers, in one police car, but when we got to the scene of the crime there was five police officers and three police cars being the biggest crime of the last 50 years and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it and he was using up all kinds of cop equipment they had hanging around the police officer station they was taken blaster tire track footprints dog-smelling prints they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and paragraph on the back of each one's explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us the two pictures of the approach the getaway. the northwest corner, the southwest corner and that's not to mention the aerial photography
And it was after the ordeal we went back to the jail Obie said he was gonna put us in and he said "Kid, I'm gonna put you in the cell. Give me your wallet and your belt." and I said: "Obie, I can understand you wanting my wallet, so I don't have any money to spend in the cell. What do you want the belt for?" he said "Kid, we don't want any hangings", and I said "Obie, did you think I was gonna hang myself for littering?" Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was cuz he took out the toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll the toilet paper out the window slide down the roll
Escape and get away, Obie was making sure all right
It was about four or five hours later that Alice remember Alice she stills a song about Alice anyway analysts combine with a few nasty words to all be on the side she bailed us out of jail we went back to the church had another Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning when we all had to go to court
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