Persian Rug Sale at the URC Half Man Half Biscuit

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Wearing my buskins of mottled cordovan
I waited patiently for love
It came along in the shape of you but with another man
So go Svetlana, go; your palfrey awaits

Consoled myself with a cheese and onion batch
‘Sing To God’ by Cardiacs and a beer
Then like a blockhead I followed you to the Odeon
Still wearing my buskins of mottled cordovan

Seems like my time machine is on the blink
This should be 1461
Now I can see I’m at Towton by the carnage
But Alfie Bass and that drone have got me foxed

J-J-J-J-J-Jimmy’s on overnights, Maureen’s on seven-three
Edward the Fourth is on self-scan
Norman Hunter and Francis Lee are going toe-to-toe
Amongst the entrails of the slain

At the URC
At the URC
There’s a Persian rug sale at the URC
At the URC
At the URC
There’s a Persian rug sale at the URC