Knobheads on Quiz Shows Half Man Half Biscuit

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What possessed you to apply?
Did your friends with good advice implode?
We should hang you up in chains
Let you rot beside the ill-paved road

Born too late for the First World War
Siege of Troy was long before my time
Naseby, Jutland, Agincourt
Characters perhaps from pantomime

Authors, sport, landlocked states
Capitals of Europe and their size
Breeds of dog, famous dates
Kind of hoping these things don’t arise

I don’t watch films in black and white
The trees and flowers and birds have passed me by
I’ll just guess and hope I’m right
The first man into space was Captain Bligh

Good luck back in work
They’ll’ve heard you were on
Have you got the file for Mr Out In Round One?
Harken, a cuckoo! Or is it a wren?
Don’t ever darken our doorstep again