Monster In Me From Ashes to New

[Verse 1: Matt Brandyberry]
Look
To you, I'm different
It's 'cause I refuse to listen
To all the stupid shit that you include in your opinions
I got enough issues trying to be a human
Living in a ruined system while I'm running from a crucifixion
You'll never get it
I put myself in this position
And nothing you could do could ever worsen my condition
So while you tryna play the villain
Understand that I'm the monster in my blood
Looking for a way to spill it
I can't wait till you see what I make
When I paint the walls red with a gun to my brain
And I can't wait to see the look on your face
When I lay in my own grave, I was never afraid to die
Nah I'm playing, I'd never follow through
And I'm never gon' do what you want me to
I'm staying
My mind's racing
You think it's 'cause of you
But my thoughts are like a room
You ain't even in my basement
A day passes, I don't ask myself who am I
And I have a habit of imagining my suicide
The thoughts I'm having got me battling my stupid mind
Why does every situation have to be a do or die?
Have to be a foolish lie?
Something that I used to tell myself that always seems to make me lose my cool inside
Makes me think I'm cool with dying
But really all I wanna do is spit the truth
And watch my dreams and points of view align