Tomorrow, if anyone asks you what happened at the Tonys, you can say this: we straightened things out in the opening number, Ellen Barkin and John Benjamin Hickey took home awards for their hilarious performances in The Normal Heart
Daniel Radcliffe kicked some butt, and we were so elated
Even Voldemort was sad he wasn't nominated
Norbert Leo Butz sang and danced and tried to catch ya, comin' atcha
Chasing Trey and Casey 'cause they nabbed a Tony statue
Commencing in the Chattanooga station
From the grand imagination of the Kander/Ebb collaboration
It takes a lot for a recipient to humble me
But everybody cried for gorgeous Nikki James, the bumblebee
Andrew Rannells sang “I Believe” and he landed it
So well now he's Mitt Romney's VP candidate
All across the country, from the north and to the south
They're saying "Brooke's a hottie with a crazy potty mouth"
John Larroquette brought an eloquent mood to the room
I'm still imagining him at home in his Fruit-of-the-Looms
Spider-Man and Mary-Jane gave us perspective here
They sang a ballad, we didn't need protective gear
But Patina Miller's nun sang “Raise Your Voice” with cheer
And Memphis is relentless, they're performing every year
The Normal Heart won, Larry Kramer made us weep
And War Horse dazzled us with a theatrical sweep
Sutton Foster never lost her knack for talking smack
And tapping a full-on assault attack
I'm awesome, Hugh Jackman, take that
Daniel Radcliffe kicked some butt, and we were so elated
Even Voldemort was sad he wasn't nominated
Norbert Leo Butz sang and danced and tried to catch ya, comin' atcha
Chasing Trey and Casey 'cause they nabbed a Tony statue
Commencing in the Chattanooga station
From the grand imagination of the Kander/Ebb collaboration
It takes a lot for a recipient to humble me
But everybody cried for gorgeous Nikki James, the bumblebee
Andrew Rannells sang “I Believe” and he landed it
So well now he's Mitt Romney's VP candidate
All across the country, from the north and to the south
They're saying "Brooke's a hottie with a crazy potty mouth"
John Larroquette brought an eloquent mood to the room
I'm still imagining him at home in his Fruit-of-the-Looms
Spider-Man and Mary-Jane gave us perspective here
They sang a ballad, we didn't need protective gear
But Patina Miller's nun sang “Raise Your Voice” with cheer
And Memphis is relentless, they're performing every year
The Normal Heart won, Larry Kramer made us weep
And War Horse dazzled us with a theatrical sweep
Sutton Foster never lost her knack for talking smack
And tapping a full-on assault attack
I'm awesome, Hugh Jackman, take that
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