I’m Going to Be a Daddy Dan Bull

[Verse 1]
When she showed me the pregnancy test I felt numb
I thought these things were supposed to tell the facts
Howcome we got this outcome?
They're meant to be ninety-nine point nine percent accurate
But now I doubt them
I thought maybe one day I may want a baby
But not here, not now, what, are you crazy?
It's too soon I'm too stupid to build a human nest
I'm a man child hiding in the shadow of my student debts
We always used protection, at least to my recollection
Well, i guess this is another new regret for my collection
And I won't kill a fetus
Even if it's milimetres
If I'm big enough to spill a seed, then i'm big enough to let it breathe
A fellow creature, full of genes with each of us
We're big enough to bring it up and let it develop features
Left speechless
But my ears hurt even when I hear tiny noises
How am I going to deal with each night of crying high-pitched voices?
When they're in pain there's no way to make them say it softly
I'm good with kids, as long as someone can take them off me
And what'll remain of our relationship that's already strained?
The love that's left it's drained and plumbed into a baby's veins
And what if this isn't the right relationship to stay with?
At this stage in the day it may just be to late to change it