Announcer 1: Since the last South Park, you've waited four long weeks to find out who the father of Eric Cartman is. Now, finally, the shocking truth about Cartman's lineage ...will not be seen tonight, so that we can bring you the following special presentation.
[A party horn blows]
APRIL FOOLS
[Theme music plays]
Announcer 2: Now, get ready for Canada's hottest action stars [Terrance and Phillip appear in turn], Terrance and Phillip in HBC's Movie of the Week, [the title comes into view and a heavy bass thump is heard] Not Without My Anus! Based on a true story.
[Canadian Courthouse, 10:18 A.M.]
[dramatic music plays as the camera zooms in on the courthouse]
Scott: Ladies and gentlemen, the case before you today is of a murderer. On the night in question, this monster entered the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer and struck him repeatedly on the head with his hammer. [demonstrates it] That monster is sitting right over there, and his name is Terrance! [Suspenseful notes play. Terrance farts and both he and Phillip laugh about it]
Phillip: Oh, Terrance! You farted in court!
Terrance; Yes, Phillip. I'm making a case for our defense. [they laugh again]
Scott: [approaching displays] All of these things link Terrance to the murder: hair fibers, blood samples, nail clippings, a piece of his shirt [a hole is seen on the left shoulder of Terrance's shirt. He quickly puts his right hand over it and looks around nervously], a watch with his initials on it, a day planner with the murder scheduled, a haiku called, "Time to kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer"[Dr. O'Dwyer, Time to have your head smashed in, with my new hammer], [Terrance is aghast at the mountain of evidence against him] Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not God! Zhay accuse, Terrance!
Terrance: Would you like a monkey claw, Phillip?
Phillip: Yes, please.
Terrance: [farts and has the jury laughing] That's called a monkey claw because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys!
Phillip: The monkey claw is smelly.
[A party horn blows]
APRIL FOOLS
[Theme music plays]
Announcer 2: Now, get ready for Canada's hottest action stars [Terrance and Phillip appear in turn], Terrance and Phillip in HBC's Movie of the Week, [the title comes into view and a heavy bass thump is heard] Not Without My Anus! Based on a true story.
[Canadian Courthouse, 10:18 A.M.]
[dramatic music plays as the camera zooms in on the courthouse]
Scott: Ladies and gentlemen, the case before you today is of a murderer. On the night in question, this monster entered the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer and struck him repeatedly on the head with his hammer. [demonstrates it] That monster is sitting right over there, and his name is Terrance! [Suspenseful notes play. Terrance farts and both he and Phillip laugh about it]
Phillip: Oh, Terrance! You farted in court!
Terrance; Yes, Phillip. I'm making a case for our defense. [they laugh again]
Scott: [approaching displays] All of these things link Terrance to the murder: hair fibers, blood samples, nail clippings, a piece of his shirt [a hole is seen on the left shoulder of Terrance's shirt. He quickly puts his right hand over it and looks around nervously], a watch with his initials on it, a day planner with the murder scheduled, a haiku called, "Time to kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer"[Dr. O'Dwyer, Time to have your head smashed in, with my new hammer], [Terrance is aghast at the mountain of evidence against him] Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not God! Zhay accuse, Terrance!
Terrance: Would you like a monkey claw, Phillip?
Phillip: Yes, please.
Terrance: [farts and has the jury laughing] That's called a monkey claw because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys!
Phillip: The monkey claw is smelly.
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