Levi Johnston’s Blues Ben Folds

Woke up this morning, what do I see?
Three thousand cameras pointed at me
Dude says, "You Levi?"
I'm like, "Yes, that's me sir."
"Well, you just knocked up the VP nominee's daughter."

So I tell him, "No, you got it wrong, mister
"Already got a girl, and her name is Bristol."
And they all laugh and say, "Where you been, sonny?
"Your mother-in-law's a heartbeat from the presidency."

And I say, "Mother-in-law? No -- we ain't getting married!"
They say, "Soon you will, boy; she just announced it."
I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl's home
Gonna lay down the law
And tell her what's going on:

I'm a fucking redneck
I live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing
And kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling, I guess
You fuck with me and I kick your ass

So we talk and it turns out we don't believe in abortion
And sex outside marriage is against our religion
And when I try to tell 'em I'm eighteen years old
They say, "Levi, it's too late
"You gotta do as you're told."