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He Who Would Valium Take - Half Man Half Biscuit
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He Who Would Valium Take Half Man Half Biscuit

He Who Would Valium Take - Half Man Half Biscuit
The car that parked on the pavement narked
Pedestrians and children with chalk
Their games, their shapes, their capers, their japes
Destroyed by a thoughless shitehawk

And yea, though I walk in the road to get past
I'm not in the least afraid
For soon I shall fly to the great by-and-by
Away from a world without shade

A streaker streaks and a nation shrugs
At a saucer-like disc in the sky
A stag weekend is a poor weekend
If the army is not on standby

Pub grub, pub games, pub bands, pub names
The pitbull-like strains of kids
If Chelsea, Chantelle, and Jordan should yell
My fears would relay to my skids

The maverick cops with their average plots
And boring unorthodox ways
The previous life as a pharoah's wife
Is mightily irksome these days

The Lady in Red hides under the bed
From a husband who quotes Chubby Brown
It's cold and it's wet, and a knell of regret
Is pealing throughout every town
Is pealing throughout every town
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