The Night Before Larry Was Stretched Elvis Costello

[Verse]
Oh, the night before Larry was stretched
Well, the boys they all paid him a visit
A bit in their sacks too they fetched
For they sweated their duds till they riz it
For Larry was always the lad
When a boy was condemned to the squeezer
Would fence all the duds that he had
For to help his poor friend to a sneezer
And warm his ol' gob 'fore he died

Well, the boys they came crowding in fast
And they threw all their stools 'round about him
Six glims round his trap-case was placed
For he couldn't be well-waked without them
When one of them asked, could he die
Without having duly repented
Said Larry, "That's all in me eye
And first by the clergy invented
For to get a fat bit for themselves

Oh, and I'll be cut up like a pie
And my nob from my body be parted
You're in the wrong box, then, says I
For blast me if they're so hard-hearted
A chalk on the back of your neck
Is all that Jack Catch dares to give you
Then mind not such trifle's a feck
Oh why should the likes of them grieve you
And now boys, come tip us the deck