[Verse 1]
I swear to God they'll probably never understand me
Sick of just walking around, pretending I'm happy
Feel like collapsing from all weight that I carry
But I just keep it pushing and pop me another Xanny
Know it's sad but I remember as a kid it was rough
Always thought we had it all, what I was missing was love
And always drowning in some waters that were thicker than blood
Still they wonder how the fuck I got addicted to drugs, damn
But they don't get that I'm avoiding feeling pain
Only time I feel alive is when there's poison in my veins
Momma telling me to look at what I'm doing to myself
But I just wanna be fucking happy like everybody else
They looking down on me like I'm the fucking villain
I don't wanna talk about it, I know they don't wanna listen
I was only tryna make up for the feeling I was missing
If I'm only feeling pain, tell me, what's the point of living
Every day I'm waking up and tryna deal with the stress
And I've been acting like I'm happy when my life is a mess
And all I know is that I got this fucking pain in my chest
And I would love to get clean but I'm too fucking depressed, damn
Momma's panicking and losing her faith
Came to tell me 'bout a rehab in a beautiful place
She said, "Just checking up if you was awake"
She broke down when she seen her son blue in the face and thought—
I swear to God they'll probably never understand me
Sick of just walking around, pretending I'm happy
Feel like collapsing from all weight that I carry
But I just keep it pushing and pop me another Xanny
Know it's sad but I remember as a kid it was rough
Always thought we had it all, what I was missing was love
And always drowning in some waters that were thicker than blood
Still they wonder how the fuck I got addicted to drugs, damn
But they don't get that I'm avoiding feeling pain
Only time I feel alive is when there's poison in my veins
Momma telling me to look at what I'm doing to myself
But I just wanna be fucking happy like everybody else
They looking down on me like I'm the fucking villain
I don't wanna talk about it, I know they don't wanna listen
I was only tryna make up for the feeling I was missing
If I'm only feeling pain, tell me, what's the point of living
Every day I'm waking up and tryna deal with the stress
And I've been acting like I'm happy when my life is a mess
And all I know is that I got this fucking pain in my chest
And I would love to get clean but I'm too fucking depressed, damn
Momma's panicking and losing her faith
Came to tell me 'bout a rehab in a beautiful place
She said, "Just checking up if you was awake"
She broke down when she seen her son blue in the face and thought—
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