The Comedy of Patrol Officer Tim O’Malley National Lampoon

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And now the National Lampoon Radio Hour presents the new comedy sensation, patrol officer Tim O'Malley! A funny thing happened to me on my beat today, I arrested a guy who was so ugly I handcuffed his face, ten-four, but no kidding folks, this guy was so dumb, that when I told him I was gonna book him downtown he thought I got him a job in a nightclub, two, three, four, ten-four, you have the right to laugh, but any heckling will be held against you, I want you all to empty your pockets, spread your legs, put your hands up against the wall, and put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your left foot in, take your left foot out, do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself around, you're all under arrest!