A Christmas Shortcut Hot Dad

I'm thinkin' 'bout those presents
I want 'em now
I really love some gifts at Christmas
Tear the wrapping paper
Uncover prize
I need to see what people thought I would like

Etiquette dictates that I've gotta wait
For Christmas Eve or Christmas Day
When I'm face-to-face
With mom and dad or uncles
It's a disgrace
Appalling stuff

I need a Christmas shortcut
I just wanna open up my presents now
Give me a Christmas shortcut
I can't wait forever, this is what I want

A straight line is the shortest
Distance between
Me and my presents, holiday geometry
Underneath the tree, such a cruel display
Wrapped items staring back
Taunting every day
I toss and turn in bed
Looping scary thoughts
Of waiting until Christmas morning
I dream of wrapping paper
Covering the earth
A suffocated world, tradition at its worst