The Hair Piece George Carlin

George Carlin
FM And AM
The Hair Piece
One of the things that occurred when I began to uh, y'know, feel some changes happening to me...naturally, I was kinda still entertaining in gin joints, y'know- I realize they sell gin here, but it's really not the same as middle-class nightclubs where I spent like a lotta years and it was weird to start having hair and start having a beard and to come out, y'know, to all these folks- lotta Shriners and hookers and salesmen..which are the same as hookers, really, if you get right down to it. Uh, it was just strange. I had to find a way to break the ice. I told them a poem. I told them about my hair:

*I'm aware some stare at my hair*
*In fact, some really despair of my hair*
*But I don't care*
*'Cause they're not aware*
*nor are they debonair*
*In fact, they're just square*
*They see hair down to there*
*say BEWARE and go off on a tear*
*I say "No fair"*
*A head that's bare is really nowhere*
*So be like a bear*
*Be fair with your hair*
*Show it you care*
*Wear it to there, or to there,*
*or to THERE if you dare*
*My wife bought some hair at a fair*
*to use as a spare*
*Did I care? Au contraire!*
*Spare hair is fair*
*In fact, hair can be rare*
*Fred Astaire got no hair*
*nor does a chair*
*or a chocolate eclair*
*And where is the hair on a pear?*
*Nowhere, mon frere*
*Now that I've shared this affair of the hair*
*I think I'll repair to my lair*
*and use Nair, do you care?*