The Illinois Enema Bandit [ZINY 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition] Frank Zappa (Ft. Don Pardo)

FZ: And now, a true story with another fantastic introduction brought to you through the courtesy of NBC. Take it away, Don Pardo!
Don Pardo: This is a true story about a famous criminal from right around Chicago. This is the story of Michael Kenyon, a man who is serving time at this very moment for the crime of armed robbery. It so happens, that at the time of these robberies, Michael decided to give his female victims a little enema—apparently, there was no law against that. But his name lives on—Michael Kenyon, THE ILLINOIS ENEMA BANDIT!

The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women . .
He'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news
Bloomington Illinois . . . he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump