Hello, and welcome to Cooked on Phonics, the story of how a cheesy death metal band named Cryptic Coroner, became the punk phenomenon of the century, when they realised they were making no money
Our story begins, at a crappy little pub on a cheap beer night, where our heroes are aboot to take the stage
This, ALTHOUGH they don't know it yet, will be the last show they play as the infamous Cryptic Coroner, and the birth of the music biz's little babies : Punky Bruster
Let's listen in, shall we?
"Hey, turn the music down... Ah, welcome to a tuesday night at "Mallone's", Surrey's hottest hole for rock'n'roll, ah tonight we've got two for one Tequila shooter specials
Uh, anyway, straight from Poland, we've got... uh... hang on a sec (in the background: CRYPTIC CORONER !) oh yah, Cryptic Coroner, uh, give them a round of applause."
GOOD EVENING MALLOOOONE'S, WE ARE - CRYPTIC - COOOROOONEEEER, FROM SOUTH CENTRAL POOOOOLAAAAND... ROT - IN - HEEEEEELL !!!
(Death metal part---------------------------------------------)
"Ahhh... I broke a string ! I broke a s... I.. I mean, I mean... I BROKE A STRING !!!
I broke a string man !
Oh, holy fuck ...yeah man this looks bad, can you play a punk beat? -I, I think I can
Those guys gonna kill us men we've got to do something up here...
I'm not sure give me a second
Can you try I just get up... Yeah, that's it, that sounds good !
How's that ?!
It's good, just wait I gotta tune up man, just keep goin' I gotta tune 'kay
Now we need some bass in here too... Hey get the bass goin' !
Oh man I don't like the way this crowd's actin', just keep goin' man keep goin'
'Kay right
And put some guitar in
I got it
Ok, ready ? Ready ?
Yeah... That sounds pretty good!
Gimme some bass!
Come on! Now they're gonna kill us, gimme bass now!
Yeah, yeah, I can handle this
Hey, I think I'm gonna cut my hair! Wow!
Think "Green Day"! Let's go!!!"
Our story begins, at a crappy little pub on a cheap beer night, where our heroes are aboot to take the stage
This, ALTHOUGH they don't know it yet, will be the last show they play as the infamous Cryptic Coroner, and the birth of the music biz's little babies : Punky Bruster
Let's listen in, shall we?
"Hey, turn the music down... Ah, welcome to a tuesday night at "Mallone's", Surrey's hottest hole for rock'n'roll, ah tonight we've got two for one Tequila shooter specials
Uh, anyway, straight from Poland, we've got... uh... hang on a sec (in the background: CRYPTIC CORONER !) oh yah, Cryptic Coroner, uh, give them a round of applause."
GOOD EVENING MALLOOOONE'S, WE ARE - CRYPTIC - COOOROOONEEEER, FROM SOUTH CENTRAL POOOOOLAAAAND... ROT - IN - HEEEEEELL !!!
(Death metal part---------------------------------------------)
"Ahhh... I broke a string ! I broke a s... I.. I mean, I mean... I BROKE A STRING !!!
I broke a string man !
Oh, holy fuck ...yeah man this looks bad, can you play a punk beat? -I, I think I can
Those guys gonna kill us men we've got to do something up here...
I'm not sure give me a second
Can you try I just get up... Yeah, that's it, that sounds good !
How's that ?!
It's good, just wait I gotta tune up man, just keep goin' I gotta tune 'kay
Now we need some bass in here too... Hey get the bass goin' !
Oh man I don't like the way this crowd's actin', just keep goin' man keep goin'
'Kay right
And put some guitar in
I got it
Ok, ready ? Ready ?
Yeah... That sounds pretty good!
Gimme some bass!
Come on! Now they're gonna kill us, gimme bass now!
Yeah, yeah, I can handle this
Hey, I think I'm gonna cut my hair! Wow!
Think "Green Day"! Let's go!!!"
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