I had a dream last night I was cast into hell by a jealous God
The Devil walked up and said, "You don't need no lightning rod
"It hardly ever rains down here, I can't recall the last storm
"You ain't gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm
"There's one way in, there's no way out; it looks like you're here to stay
"Oh, the place is a mess, it's overcrowded, more are coming in everyday"
I said, "Aw man, wait a minute, there's got to be somethin' wrong
"I ain't a bad guy, I just write these little songs
"I always pay my union dues, I don't stay in the passing lane"
And he said, "What about all that whiskey and cocaine?"
I said, "Well, yeah, but that's no reason to throw me in hell
"'Cause I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just like the way it smells"
He said, "Come on over here, son, let me show you around
"Over there's where we put the preachers; I never liked those clowns
"They're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun
"It ain't that hard to do what's right, it's just maybe not as much fun
"Then they walk around thinkin' they're better than me and you
"And then they get caught in a motel room doin' what they said not to do"
"Now all the murderers and the rapists, they go in this fiery lake
"As well as most of the politicians and the cops on the take
"And all the mothers who wait 'til they get to K-Mart to spank their kids
"Instead of showin' 'em what to do what's right, they just hit 'em for what they did
"And all the daddys who run off and abandon their daughters and sons
"Oh, anybody who hurts a child is gonna burn until they're done"
The Devil walked up and said, "You don't need no lightning rod
"It hardly ever rains down here, I can't recall the last storm
"You ain't gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm
"There's one way in, there's no way out; it looks like you're here to stay
"Oh, the place is a mess, it's overcrowded, more are coming in everyday"
I said, "Aw man, wait a minute, there's got to be somethin' wrong
"I ain't a bad guy, I just write these little songs
"I always pay my union dues, I don't stay in the passing lane"
And he said, "What about all that whiskey and cocaine?"
I said, "Well, yeah, but that's no reason to throw me in hell
"'Cause I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just like the way it smells"
He said, "Come on over here, son, let me show you around
"Over there's where we put the preachers; I never liked those clowns
"They're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun
"It ain't that hard to do what's right, it's just maybe not as much fun
"Then they walk around thinkin' they're better than me and you
"And then they get caught in a motel room doin' what they said not to do"
"Now all the murderers and the rapists, they go in this fiery lake
"As well as most of the politicians and the cops on the take
"And all the mothers who wait 'til they get to K-Mart to spank their kids
"Instead of showin' 'em what to do what's right, they just hit 'em for what they did
"And all the daddys who run off and abandon their daughters and sons
"Oh, anybody who hurts a child is gonna burn until they're done"
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