HUEY (narration): I am not a prophet, but sometimes I have prophetic dreams, like the one where I was at a garden party.
(People are talking amongst themselves and enjoying the scenery, as Huey approaches the microphone)
HUEY: Excuse me. Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the Devil, and the government is lying about 9/11. Thank you for your time and good night.
The people suddenly erupt into a riot. Huey wakes up, and is immediately smacked by Granddad.
Granddad: Mmm-hmm! You were havin' that dream where you made the white people riot, weren't you?
Huey: But I was telling the truth!
Granddad: How many times have I told you, you better not even dream about tellin' white folk the truth! You understand me? (walks away) Shoot! Makin' White people riot! You better learn how to lie like me! I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now!
Granddad is working out too the Tae-Bo commercial in the nude.
Granddad: Sorry Billy Banks, but why buy the tape, when you could get the infomercial for free?
(He turns off the TV, then walks to kitchen to pour a glass of orange juice, and finds none, not even a drop left.)
Granddad: What...the..hell...(pauses) BOYYYSSS!!!
Granddad: (wearing bath towel around his waist, holding empty orange juice carton) Would one of y'all like to explain this?!
Riley: (rubs his eyes, groans)Mmmm, you mean the orange juice or the mini-skirt?
Granddad: Y'all need to start appreciating your granddaddy. I went and spent your inheritance on this beautiful house in this neighborhood and all I ask you to do is act like you got some class!
Riley: (to Huey) Hey...what's "class"?
Huey: It means, "don't act like niggas."
Granddad: S-s-s-see? That's what I'm talkin' about right there! We don't use the "n-word" in this house!
(People are talking amongst themselves and enjoying the scenery, as Huey approaches the microphone)
HUEY: Excuse me. Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the Devil, and the government is lying about 9/11. Thank you for your time and good night.
The people suddenly erupt into a riot. Huey wakes up, and is immediately smacked by Granddad.
Granddad: Mmm-hmm! You were havin' that dream where you made the white people riot, weren't you?
Huey: But I was telling the truth!
Granddad: How many times have I told you, you better not even dream about tellin' white folk the truth! You understand me? (walks away) Shoot! Makin' White people riot! You better learn how to lie like me! I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now!
Granddad is working out too the Tae-Bo commercial in the nude.
Granddad: Sorry Billy Banks, but why buy the tape, when you could get the infomercial for free?
(He turns off the TV, then walks to kitchen to pour a glass of orange juice, and finds none, not even a drop left.)
Granddad: What...the..hell...(pauses) BOYYYSSS!!!
Granddad: (wearing bath towel around his waist, holding empty orange juice carton) Would one of y'all like to explain this?!
Riley: (rubs his eyes, groans)Mmmm, you mean the orange juice or the mini-skirt?
Granddad: Y'all need to start appreciating your granddaddy. I went and spent your inheritance on this beautiful house in this neighborhood and all I ask you to do is act like you got some class!
Riley: (to Huey) Hey...what's "class"?
Huey: It means, "don't act like niggas."
Granddad: S-s-s-see? That's what I'm talkin' about right there! We don't use the "n-word" in this house!
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