Tour Diary: Louisville King Missile

(spoken)
The fire leaped and licked, lapping up our pink and happy flesh

Dogs chirped like monkeys and ate each other's heads

Satan slinked down the runway in a sassy blue gown made entirely of rotten fruit

Minivans circled the sky, sending messages below the earth to the Lasagna King

A flying carpet farted on the prostrate pilgrims, who were eternally grateful

A giant testicle rolled over a Waffle House, killing several clowns

Telephone poles hopped around like pogo sticks, and Jimmy helped himself to another serving of yams

A small child with a submachine gun led the faithful in a rousing rendition of "Moses, You Is My Woman Now."

Many of my internal organs jumped out of my mouth and danced a jig of gratitude to this marvelous city for entertaining me so robustly