The Gambler and the Octopus Ray Stevens

Oh, a gambler walked into a bar
With an octopus in a great big jar
Set it down and said to the bartender, "Tell you what
I'll bet you a couple of beers
Against two free hours of work around here
My friend can play any instrument you got"

Well, the day was slow and the business light
And wouldn't pick up 'til later that night
So the bartender scratched his head and said, "Why not?"
So he walked up on that dark bandstand
Came back with a flugelhorn in his hand
Put it down and said, "Okay, play me something hot"

Then all of a sudden, that jar began to shake
And the octopus came slithering out like a great big wad of snakes

He grabbed that horn and rolled around
First on the bar, then on the ground
And the bartender said, "You lose," in a laughing voice
The gambler said, "No, he's just confused
It's those three valves he's seldom used
You see, a bugle is his instrument of choice"

Well, the octopus and the gambler drank their beers
Then octopus crawled back in the jar with a burp everyone could hear