Series One - Episode One Horrible Histories (Ft. Ben Willbond, Jim Howick, Laurence Rickard, Martha Howe-Douglas, Mathew Baynton, Sarah Hadland & Simon Farnaby)

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('OPENING THEME' plays)

MALE NARRATOR: Rotten Romans.

ROMAN: When people died in Roman times, we had some really funny ideas about how to give them a good send-off.

SKETCH ONE
ROMAN VICAR: And above all, Messiunas was a wise and noble man, who would only ever beat his slaves when it was absolutely necessary. He will be sorely missed by us all. But now, for the fight.

(cheering)
(fight! fight! fight! (continues))

ROMAN 1: What on earth's going on?

ROMAN 2: Oh, it's a fight.

ROMAN 1: But why?

ROMAN 2: Oh, it's the latest Roman thing. You get your two favourite slaves to fight to the death in front of your graveside.

ROMAN 1: Whatevеr for?

ROMAN 2: It's very noble. The losеr's like a sort of sacrifice to the dead man, you know, keep his soul company? But the best thing is, it's really good fun to watch.

ROMAN 1: So, it's sort of catching on then?