Pilot American Dad

[Theme song]

Steve is at the table eating loudly and humming with his mouth open

Hayley: Shut up, Steve. I have a term paper due.

Steve: Oh, yeah, right. Community college. Big girl. Think that diploma'll land you a better section waitressing at Olive Garden?

Hayley: Will you hit puberty before you're 14?

Steve: Why, you wanna do it with me? You're sick.

Francine: Steve, you've only got one sister. Be nice. And, Hayley, Steve's big-boy hair won't come in any faster with you taunting him.

Klaus: Oh, Francine, Liebchen, I love the way you rule with an iron fist. Perhaps you would stick your naughty pinkie finger into mein bowl und let me feel you.

Francine: Klaus, I don't think...

Klaus: You're right. When the kids are gone.

Stan: No Roger you cannot borrow the car! You think you'd be more grateful to the guy who saved your life at Area 51. If the CIA found out you lived here, we'd have our memories erased.

Roger: Did you see Memento? It's not as good the second time.

Stan: You are not allowed to leave the house!