[Verse 1]
This year’s been the most different
I think I found some holes in me, I think if I was brave enough to check I’d find my soul’s missing
The last time I tried to phone my dad I found he won’t listen
I built myself a cell now I’m alone inside my own prison
Got a therapist I don’t go visit, got pill bottles, got more prescriptions
Got a million things that I shoulda did that I didn’t do so I’m bullshittin’
Lookin’ back at my old visions through teary eyes from my position
I wonder if I got more in me, I wonder if the tank’s on empty
I wonder if the person I was really is gone, I’m a ghost now
I used to feel like a power plant, my machinery all broke down
No one knows what I been through this past year cause I never told
I was fucked up for three months, If I’m bein’ honest it was plenty more
Tried Cipralex, tried Seroquel, tried Xanax, tried Propranolol
I quit drinkin’, I quit smokin’, I quit fucking, I quit it all
Momma called my bro’s phone hella choked up, tryna ask for help, he broke into my old crib, packed my bags and said farewell
[Verse 2]
I flew out to the prairies while my dad was on a sailing trip
He told my ma that he’d come home if she couldn’t take care of me
I couldn’t let him leave his dream behind, I couldn’t carry it
Anxiety was killin’ me but I couldn’t let it bury him
Laid low in Alberta for what seemed to be like a lifetime
Everyday at the doctor’s office, my blood pressure been sky high
Couldn’t barely eat, couldn’t barely sleep, couldn’t barely know who I was
Swear to god I woulda been dead if it hadn’t been for my mom
K, four months go by, my lawyer says hi
Your Visa got approved, tell your family goodbye
Three days later I caught that flight, hit Vancouver for a night, didn’t tell a single soul because I still wasn’t alright
I stayed in Jackie’s apartment, she wasn’t there I sat in the darkness, opened the window and laid on the carpet, looked at the city where everything started, like oh my god, oh my god, oh my god
This year’s been the most different
I think I found some holes in me, I think if I was brave enough to check I’d find my soul’s missing
The last time I tried to phone my dad I found he won’t listen
I built myself a cell now I’m alone inside my own prison
Got a therapist I don’t go visit, got pill bottles, got more prescriptions
Got a million things that I shoulda did that I didn’t do so I’m bullshittin’
Lookin’ back at my old visions through teary eyes from my position
I wonder if I got more in me, I wonder if the tank’s on empty
I wonder if the person I was really is gone, I’m a ghost now
I used to feel like a power plant, my machinery all broke down
No one knows what I been through this past year cause I never told
I was fucked up for three months, If I’m bein’ honest it was plenty more
Tried Cipralex, tried Seroquel, tried Xanax, tried Propranolol
I quit drinkin’, I quit smokin’, I quit fucking, I quit it all
Momma called my bro’s phone hella choked up, tryna ask for help, he broke into my old crib, packed my bags and said farewell
[Verse 2]
I flew out to the prairies while my dad was on a sailing trip
He told my ma that he’d come home if she couldn’t take care of me
I couldn’t let him leave his dream behind, I couldn’t carry it
Anxiety was killin’ me but I couldn’t let it bury him
Laid low in Alberta for what seemed to be like a lifetime
Everyday at the doctor’s office, my blood pressure been sky high
Couldn’t barely eat, couldn’t barely sleep, couldn’t barely know who I was
Swear to god I woulda been dead if it hadn’t been for my mom
K, four months go by, my lawyer says hi
Your Visa got approved, tell your family goodbye
Three days later I caught that flight, hit Vancouver for a night, didn’t tell a single soul because I still wasn’t alright
I stayed in Jackie’s apartment, she wasn’t there I sat in the darkness, opened the window and laid on the carpet, looked at the city where everything started, like oh my god, oh my god, oh my god
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