Action-6 News George Carlin

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ANNOUNCER: Time for Action-6 News with Leslie Crotchmonger
and Dick Hopshteckler. Here's Leslie with today's top stories.

L: Good evening. First the headlines:

* A giant man shits on Philadelphia.
* An old man shows his soiled anus to a waitress at an Olive Garden.
* A small dog eats a man's balls and dies.
* A crippled couple is arrested for fucking on a rollercoaster.

Now the stories behind the headlines: In Philadelphia today, a giant man dropped his huge pants and squatted over Indepеndence Hall. He thеn unleashed a ...

(Dick reaches over and grabs Leslie's script.)

D: Fuck you, you cunt! You did the headlines!

L: Lick my asshole, you dimwitted prick! My name comes first on the opening announcement.

D: That's because you blew the news director!

L: At least I didn't blow a homeless guy who has the siff!

D: Oh yeah?! Well, he wouldn't have the siff if you didn’t fuck him out back in the Dumpster!

L: Eat my box!