All About This Base Horrible Histories

Because, you see
It’s all about this base, about this base, nobody’s healed
This hospital’s a waste of space, worse than the battlefield
It’s all about this nurse, made it less worse so we all hail
The Lady with the Lamp

Me, Florence Nightingale

Don’t like red painted walls (That’s blood, ma’am) Oo-er
Probably doesn’t help you’ve built this on a sewer
Those Russians good at killing our men in Crimea
But not half as good as this place, Central Station Diarrhoea

First I brought in some towels so when emptying their bowels
Then at least their botties were clean (Isn’t funny)
Helped them get off their backs, offering tasty fresh snacks
In the hospital canteen (Yummy, yummy)
Took one look at the squalor and cases of cholera
Sores and dysentery (Poorly tummy)
And then, here’s the surprise, bought the stolen supplies
Back with my own money

Because, you see
It’s all about this base, about this base
Don’t get annoyed
I’ll get a brand-new pillow case, clear all trace of typhoid
It’s all about this nurse, fortunes reversed, at the double
Helping soldiers feel less worse, don’t need a hearse
No trouble