Cool Dad Hot Dad

My son and daughter need to be impressed
I'm livin' life, trying to be the best
Need to be cooler than the other dads
Might be a school night, but we're still going out

Probably won't win the "World's Best Dad"
But it'll be the best night they ever had
I'm not a pervert, I'm filled with love
Tonight we're gonna hang at a strip club

'Cause I'm a cool dad, I do what I want
I'm livin' my life by the day
'Cause I'm a cool dad, I fuck when I want
My kids think that I am so great

Get your fuckin' hand out of that candy dish
No, I'm kiddin', eat all the fuckin' candy you want

Fast food for breakfast, fast food for lunch
Fast food for dinner, alcohol for brunch
Drunk drive my children to school events
Homework forbidden, let's play video games

Probably won't win the "World's Best Dad"
But it'll be the best night they ever had
I'm not a pervert, I'm filled with love
Tonight we're gonna bowl with a drug lord