My Own Eyes "Weird Al" Yankovic

[Intro]
I saw a baby drive a truck
I saw a junkie eat a tuba
I saw a stripper kiss a duck
Behind a dumpster in Aruba

[Verse 1]
I saw this fat, psychotic guy
His underwear was made of crickets
He pawned a skeleton to buy
Some old expired lotto tickets

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I saw a naked vagrant
Giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat
I probably could have gone my whole life
Without seeing that

[Chorus]
With my own eyes
I see things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes

[Verse 2]
I saw a mime get hacked to death
With an imaginary cleaver
I saw an old man's final breath
I watched him die from Bieber Fever
I saw these diabetic chicks
In an abandoned 7-Eleven
I watched them snorting Pixy Stix
While they were belching "Stairway To Heaven"