Logan Isaiah Velez

You want me to grieve
You want me to grieve
I just want to breathe

[Verse 1: Isaiah Velez]
I tried to write this like a journal
But it just didn't work
I dug deep
But still feel like I had left in some dirt
So I did what I do best
And I opened my Notes app
Let pain seep through the screen
Each word a silent scream
Let's take it back to when Isaiah was young
Had to hear bout bull crap that his father had done
Yelling matches in the kitchen between father and mum
Acting like I wasn't listening, as if I were dumb
Verbally swinging, but stray shots were hitting their son
Hard to see and hard to process, slowly I would grow numb
But for now I'm prolly crying as I'm under my sheets
Close my eyes, but ugly pictures, they were stopping my sleep
Like that one time when he left the house
Or when I saw my mother cry
Or when she'd tell me, "Isaiah, just know that your my special guy."
"Just know that you are better than him, you can be much more."
Expectations made their placement
A limit to stop my soar
What did God have in store
For a small little kid?
Self-conscious since 3rd grade
Dad judging all I did
Told his kid that he was weak
So the kid tried to be tough
The weight was adding up
And even though the pain had made me strong
I just was not enough