I saw an episode of The Jerry Springer Show, and the topic was "Transvestites and the Men Who Love Them." And the guy was on with his 'girlfriend' and he was saying, "To me, this is a beautiful woman. She's got a perfect body, beautiful blonde hair, everything. I love her, and I love making love to her. Now I ask you, does that make me gay?"
Most of the audience thought so, and so did I
But it got me thinking about what is and isn't gay
Discussing sex with a guy is gay
Discussing sex with a woman is straight
Even telling a woman
"Sometimes I wonder what it
Would be like to suck a cock" is straight
Sports are gay
Especially contact sports
Unless you're the only guy on both teams
In which case it's straight
Gyms are always gay
Because afterwards
In the locker room
You're showering with guys
And that is gay
Watching pornography alone is neutral
Like eating a sandwich
It’s neither straight nor gay
Watching pornos with one
Or more other guys in the room
No matter how many other women
Are also in the room, is gay
Watching porn, even gay porn
With one or more women only is straight
Most of the audience thought so, and so did I
But it got me thinking about what is and isn't gay
Discussing sex with a guy is gay
Discussing sex with a woman is straight
Even telling a woman
"Sometimes I wonder what it
Would be like to suck a cock" is straight
Sports are gay
Especially contact sports
Unless you're the only guy on both teams
In which case it's straight
Gyms are always gay
Because afterwards
In the locker room
You're showering with guys
And that is gay
Watching pornography alone is neutral
Like eating a sandwich
It’s neither straight nor gay
Watching pornos with one
Or more other guys in the room
No matter how many other women
Are also in the room, is gay
Watching porn, even gay porn
With one or more women only is straight
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