Nightmares Ransom

[Verse 1]
I had dreams of being a millionaire
Rolling down these avenues and getting a million stares
I hope y'all feel me, yeah
I wake up in cold sweats like: "damn, I'm still in here!"
Even though I feel no fear, I never can reveal my tears
My father told me I'd never make it
I celebrated when he died, nobody cried
Hope he's in hell with satan
I can't control my thoughts, getting drunk and dozing off
Can't brush my shoulders off, partna' I'm a soldier lost
Sick as a general's mind when he's approaching war
Yeah, I'm getting better with time, I'm tryna focus more
I got a veterans grind, I'm tryna open doors
Public enemy like Flav when he was smoking raw
Seen the birth of my little baby Queen
She seen the pain in my eyes and I think it made her scream
You got to wake up nigga, this ain't no crazy dream
Never thought I'd be broke living off my lady's cream
Niggas telling me what I should and should not do
Keep the advice to yourself homie, I'm not you
Nightmares of being a fiend like at 45
They all despise I see it all in my daughters eyes
I slump down in my chair right before she cries
Point at the needle and tell her: "that's where my fortune lies"
I wake up and I scream: "still your boy is alive!"
I don't got money to live but can't afford to die