The Poodle Lecture Frank Zappa

FZ:

In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter God made three big
Mistakes. The first mistake was called MAN, the second mistake was called
WO-MAN, and the third mistake was the invention of THE POODLE. Now the reason
The poodle was such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a
Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
Attractive dog. The poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
Piquant canine type BODY. That's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
Regular looking dog. You know it's true, I guess you do too. (Oh, I have to
Kiss you? Oh okay.)

Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to look good, you know the
Regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle
Didn't think anything of it. You know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
Olden days. But the WO-MAN, as you know, has always been much smarter than the
MAN

Guy In The Audience:

You're the best!

FZ:

That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. Now you're interrupting my
Story, now listen . . . What is that? Is that the Tower of Power or what? Oh no
No, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. Now listen: