No Man’s Land Alice Cooper

I got a job in Atlanta in a mall playing Santa
Not because of any talent but because I was the
Only one the suit would fit
Everybody shopping, little sticky kids were hopping
On my lap with their fingers in my beard
I guess they thought that I was really it
She sat down on my lap and said to me
"I'm twenty three and I need someone
You look like someone who could play with me
Stay with me, all day with me"

'Cause I'm in no man's land
Can't seem to find a real man
You know I'm lookin' for a steel man
She said I'm in no man's land
I'm gonna show you a real good time
I'd gladly pay you double overtime

She was beggin' to be mine, but my job was on the line
Should I say or should I go? I just didn't know
...Hmmmm

I left fifty kids standin' in line, they were whining, they were crying
And their mothers they were screaming in hysterics and I swear
I never heard such profanity
I dropped my suit on the floor
They were trying to block the door
They were calling her a whore
They were driven to nativital insanity
We drove away in her Mercedes Benz
Dirty blond split ends in the breeze
She said "I want to put you under my tree
You're just a little gift from me to me"