Psycho Street Richard Thompson

[Verse 1]
A man sits down to write a letter, but instead he writes a book
The book begins, "Dear Sir, I don't know if you're interested
But your wife is a whore"

[Verse 2]
A man gets on a train and proceeds to take all his clothes off
He begins to play with himself, and he says
"In my country, this is definitely not offensive"

[Verse 3]
A man pours petrol through his neighbour's letterbox and throws in a match
The house is engulfed in flames
As the neighbours jump from the upstairs window
He films the whole thing on video
He plays it back to them later in hospital
"Things have been pretty dull at home without you," he says

[Verse 4]
A man pushes a lawnmower two hundred miles on his knees
To the tomb of the unknown gardener
"Great One," he cries
"I've done my penance, I bring my offering
Grant me, grant me, grant me
Pest-free roses"